Today is Self-Injury Awareness Day, a day meant to call attention to the disturbing number of people who deliberately harm their bodies in an attempt to numb emotional stress.
Self-injury (SI) can range from cutting, burning or hitting oneself to simply picking at skin, pulling hair or pinching. At its most extreme, SI can lead to bone-breaking and other more serious injuries.
While there isn’t a lot of epidemiological data, one of the largest studies out of Cornell University suggests that 20 percent of college women have self-injured at least once, and approximately 75 percent of those have injured more than once.
“Self-injurers come from all walks of life. In general, they have a difficult time dealing with with intense emotional stress,” says Wendy Lader, Ph.D., president of S.A.F.E. Alternatives, a group dedicated to stopping self-abuse.
So why would people want to harm themselves?
One misconception is that they do it for attention.
“The most common reason people self-injure is for emotional regulation,” says Lader. “That is, to feel better or to calm down when in an emotional storm.”
It seems counter-intuitive, but for these individuals, physically harming themselves provides comfort in the following ways:
- It distracts from emotional pain and calms overwhelmingly intense feelings
- It gives a sense of control and distracts from painful memories or disturbing thoughts
- It’s a way to express things they can’t put into words or can’t sort out in their own mind
So, what should you do if you suspect someone is engaging in self-harm? First, realize that this is a serious situation. According to Lader, while most people who self-injure will not attempt suicide, self-injurers are nine times more likely than non-injurers to attempt suicide.
“You should not, nor can you be their therapist,” says Lader. “But you can let your loved one or friend know that you care about them and want to see them get the professional help they need. You can also let them know that you recognize that they are in emotional pain and want to see them attain a sense of happiness.”
Once you’ve expressed your concern, help them find a mental health professional who specializes in self-harm (this is key — not every doc is qualified to deal with this particular behavior). Click here for support and therapist referrals.
(by Jenny Everett via Self Magazine)
The Glee episode last night featured a comment by one of the main characters that suicide is selfish. It isn’t an uncommon utterance. In fact, if you do a simple search on Google with the words suicide and selfish, it returns 10.5 million results. So, clearly, this is something that many people either believe or think is absolutely ridiculous.
Different people handle the topic in different ways. One comment that I found contained the following statement: “I think it’s not only selfish but it’s the last punishing blow to the living. It’s the easy way out of dealing with the turbulence that is life! We are left with so many unanswered questions.” Apparently, this person doesn’t want someone to commit suicide because it is just too cruel to the living. I guess that it is simple to put your own feelings ahead of those of someone who is so depressed that they see no other way to deal with their pain than to end their own life. I mean, that’s a very typical thing, to put your needs before those of someone else. What’s weird is that that attitude is not considered to be selfish, even though the “survivor” is not thinking about what the suicide victim has been going through, what pain might be causing them such agony, and just how desperate or lonely the person might be feeling. To me, it seems selfish to say, “You’re punishing me by killing yourself.”
A religious website had the following: “When one has no hope does not know God or have faith, suicide becomes one of the greatest acts of selfishness.” I don’t get it. Does that mean that if a person who commits suicide is an atheist that they are being selfish, but if they are a Christian or practitioner of another religion that they are now less selfish? How does their spirituality or lack-thereof determine if the act is selfish or not? If God exists, do people really think that one of God’s posse is keeping up with which suicides occur among those who are church-going and which are among those who lack faith? It seems like God would have bigger fish to fry. (And, no, that wasn’t some lame Lent-oriented pun.) God shouldn’t want anyone to suffer needlessly and, despite what some religious organizations seem to think, I don’t see a loving God as being one intent punishing people for being sick.
A user from the Experience Project’s website stated, “I don’t think its selfish to be angry with a person who chooses a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” That disregards a whole segment of society. While some who are suicidal are only temporarily depressed, there are so many who have a mental health issue that might be considered terminal because it will be with the person for the remainder of their life. For example, if a schizophrenic ends their life, then they are using a permanent solution to resolve a permanent problem. The statement also disregards the intensity of the pain that the person, regardless of the nature of their problem, is going through.
And, as always, children seem to have the best understanding of the world we live in and the problems we deal with. As a first grader, this person had lost her father to suicide and heard people at his funeral asking how her father could hurt her family in such a way. Even at that young of an age, she realized, “he didn’t do this to us. Instinctively, I knew.” So how is it that kids can understand that suicide is not an act of aggression against friends and family? How do the rest of us not understand that?
Suicide is not some simple choice people make because they are lazy or they don’t care about others. Suicide is the choice of someone who feels that their life has lost that little spark that made it worth living. Suicidal ideation is a horrible thing to go through. To feel suicidal is to feel like your very core is being sucked out of your body by a high-power vacuum and no matter what you do, you can’t hold onto it and you know that you can’t save yourself. It’s almost like being in the ocean with no life preserver, no lifeguard in sight, and no ability to swim. It drains you of your hope. It drains you of any joy you could have in your life. It makes you feel like your family, your friends, etc. don’t care or shouldn’t care or that they would be better off without you. And to write it off as the act of someone who doesn’t think about what others will go through is to thoroughly misunderstand the act itself.
EW.com recap of “On My Way” (x)
That was out of line for him, though I was a bit too pissed at that moment at the “it was selfish” angle that Quinn took on the attempt.* I think that Kurt’s “who’s had it worse” thing was kind of handled by Will’s speech on how everyone has a different breaking point.
* It seems selfish of people to focus on how they’re hurt by someone else’s attempt/suicide. People who commit or attempt suicide are in massive amounts of pain, and they just want that to stop. I get so sick of seeing and hearing people call suicide selfish. Maybe if they cared more for their depressed friends/lovers/family members, then they [the complainers] wouldn’t be hurt by a possible attempt.
(Source: azulalikesgirls)
“I’m self-destructive,” I told my psychiatrist weeks after my brother’s funeral.
“That’s what I like about you,” he said. “You’re honest.”
Awkward pause. Did he really just say that? I wondered.
“What I mean is, I don’t think my meds are working,” I said, although what I really wanted to say was shut.the.hell.up.
It had been almost a month since my eldest brother, Donnie, died and still grief was difficult to reach. Twenty years my senior, Donnie was in and out of my family’s life based on his needs — money, a job, a place to crash, someone to keep his kids for the afternoon. He spent the rest of his time, as far as I understood, in pursuit of the next high.
So it wasn’t a shock when his flirtation with death proved fatal. Showing up to his funeral was like showing up to a surprise party you already knew about. I couldn’t adequately feign the proper emotions. I was impatient watching everyone kneel by his body in tears. I was angry that his children were without their dad. I figured I’d probably never feel any sadness and explained away my lack of tears with the fact that our relationship, what there was of it, was complicated. And then one night, a month after his passing, I found myself drunk and full of rage, punching my pillows senseless until I passed out. The well was no longer dry.
…
I actually cried reading this.
this girl on my dash just posted something that makes me think she’s gonna kill herself. I think she could really use some support messages right now. please spread the word.
http://partyyhard-letloose.tumblr.com/ask
=/
signal boosting so hard.
it only takes a minute. do it.
please everyone. keep reblogging. she is too beautiful, and her life is too precious to be lost. =/
(Source: allthe-songs-makesense)
i have been crying since i saw these!
I cannot believe the level of trolling and hatred that has been done in response to his video. Actually, I can. The world seems to filled with trolls, bigots, and assholes.
(Source: youloveyou)
A few days ago, there was a bit of a war of words between some of the political blogs on Tumblr. This “war” came to a head with one of the people saying, “Go kill yourselves you feminazi twats.” Now, I get that this particular person was frustrated, but I have a rule that I prefer not to follow people who use the phrase, “Go kill yourself.”
Now, I get why he said it. I really do, but when he said it, he lost me as a follower. Now, he probably doesn’t really care that I unfollowed him, since I’m fairly certain that he has plenty of people that he would rather have following me. And even if he does care, then that’s his issue.
I find it to be wrong, in a society where we are constantly reminded of the struggles that so many people go through, that people take to telling one another to go kill themselves. Even if you’re just blowing off steam or being sarcastic, this kind of language shouldn’t be used. Before anyone jumps on me saying that people have a right to say whatever they want, I’ll point out that free speech only goes so far. Encouraging someone to harm his or her own person or words that are meant to start an argument which could result in a breach of peace do not fall under First Amendment protection. Clearly, when you’re calling someone a “feminazi twat”, you’re not saying that to make the world a more peaceful place. Instead, you’re igniting and encouraging more offensive rhetoric. Using the phrase “go kill yourself” might not be meant to encourage someone to actually go kill himself or herself, but it is a suggestive phrase that, when said to the wrong person, could encourage that person to take an action that might end their life.
Yes, I know that most people wouldn’t harm their own life after reading that phrase, but there is a possibility that the statement might be read by someone who comes from a background where they are belittled or abused in a way that this kind of language triggers a self-destructive nerve in them. This kind of rhetoric towards those people might lead to the person taking a course of action that could put their life on the line. This is why I try to unfollow anyone who suggests that anyone take this course of action. I know that that might sound ridiculous or lulzy or stupid or ignorant, but I don’t care. I have a right to not read statements that I feel are not healthy for me or for others.
I know it may seem ridiculous for me to write a post about something that occurred days ago, and is probably no longer a subject of interest for anyone, but I felt that I needed to express my feelings on this kind of statement. I feel that the internet has become very lax on this kind of expression. It sometimes seems like sites and people are so afraid of censorship that they openly allow statements that are just completely inappropriate. Since this statement is, in my opinion, inappropriate, then I feel like I have the freedom to say that I am disturbed by this kind of sentiment.
I understand that sometimes, in the heat of an argument, people might say things that they don’t mean or that they know they shouldn’t have said. Maybe that’s the case here, but I will probably never know for sure. If it is the case, then that’s good. If not, and this is the actual sentiment of the person who said it, then I find that grossly disturbing.
If you have finished this post and made sense of what I’ve said, then you deserve a cookie. Otherwise, no cookie for you.
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-439–4253
Reblogging because you know, someone out there could use one of these.
Can we donate money to the Trevor Project or something and get to keep our dashboards purple? I actually like the purple better than blue. Blue is good too. But if you came up with a way for me to keep the heliotrope I’d really like it.
(Source: stfuconservatives)
